do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
