For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
