HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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