Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry hungdaddy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it

Fav 2 2416 1205
share tweet
(250): View more from British Columbia

I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.

Fav 16 3483 967
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(910): View more from North Carolina

when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...

Fav 106 1942 10845
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?

Fav 34 1321 5197
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.

Fav 25 4627 1074
share tweet
(540): View more from Virginia

At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.

Fav 8 1191 3943
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(505): View more from New Mexico

She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.

Fav 5 4120 1427
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married

Fav 4 951 561
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard

Fav 1 491 183
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT