Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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