That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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