didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize