If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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