just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
