i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
