it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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