I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
