i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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