I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
