she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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