dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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