do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
What a dumb baby whore.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
