just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
