She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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