she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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