Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we're making bets on your personal life
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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