You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish I only lived at night.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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