So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
