So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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