I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
