3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
