ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
