i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
