I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
