So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
