i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
