I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize