She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize