He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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