as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
