its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
