Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
