put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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