nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
