so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
