she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize