Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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