Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
