I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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