Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
