letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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