YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
it was like eating out sand paper
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
