no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
