I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
