it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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