Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
