last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize