So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
