ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
