he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
