The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
