More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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