And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
