i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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