Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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