Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
