ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
