i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
