My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
