I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
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