I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
